Feelings of loss and grief can be experienced after we lose someone or something we care about. They can be

• The death of a loved one
• Loss of a relationship
• Loss of a pet
• Loss of a job
• A change to your way of life
• Loss of important possessions

The grief you experience in these instances is not an illness. It is a normal response to a life event that everyone must face at some point. It takes time to adjust and to learn to live our life without that person, thing or way of life.

When we lose someone or something important to us, it can take time to adjust and learn to live without that person, thing or way of life. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve and it can take a lot of time and support to heal.

The intensity of our grief, how long it lasts, and our reactions to it, will differ from person to person. Some common reactions include:

• Feeling sad or down
• Frequent crying
• Shock, denial, numbness
• Stress, anxiety, confusion, exhaustion
• Anger, guilt, shame, blame or even relief
• Loneliness, isolation and withdrawal
• Feeling or acting differently to usual
• Physical health problems – headaches, changes in eating or sleeping patterns
• Difficulty concentrating
• Not enjoying usual activities and hobbies
• Tension or problems with personal relationships
• Increased alcohol, smoking or drug use
• Feeling hopeless or like you can’t go on – thoughts of suicide or self-harm

1. Let yourself grieve. Express your feelings to a trusted family member, friend or health professional, rather than bottling them up.
2. Take care of yourself by eating healthy, exercising, and sleeping properly. Do things you enjoy, even if you don’t really feel like doing them. Try getting back into your normal routine. Avoid alcohol and drugs, as they numb feelings and make it harder to heal.
3. Take your time and postpone major life decisions. It takes time to get back into life. There isn’t a set time limit on grief, so try not to put pressure on yourself or others to move ahead. Avoid making any big decisions until you can think more clearly.
4. Say goodbye and share your feelings. Each person has a different way of remembering the person or thing that has been lost. For some people, having belongings that remind them of the deceased can help. For others, putting these things away until they are better equipped to face them is easier.
5. Allow people to help you. Explain to family and friends how you feel and what you would like them to do to help. Often others want to help but they do not know what you need or want; e.g. whether to talk about the loved person or not. Tell them. It can help to talk to a professional, or to talk to someone who has been through a similar experience, and understand what you are going through.
6. Let yourself heal. Healing does not just mean letting go or saying goodbye. You may feel guilty about forgetting a person or thing and not want to move on. This is a normal part of healing. Don’t feel guilty about moving through your grief and trying to get back to your life.

You may find yourself overwhelmed with the pain, or even avoiding the pain of grieving. If this starts to get in the way of how you live, affects work, relationships, or day-to-day life then you need to get support or professional help.

Long-term or overwhelming grief can put your physical, mental and emotional health at risk. If you think this is happening to you, seek help immediately from a health professional.